People Don’t Know What They Want Until You Give Them What They Don’t Want

At many stages in my life, I have come to the same realization: people don’t know what they want until you give them what they don’t want.

Since I started teaching in Korea, I have learned that the Korean administrator and headteacher seem to assume that, despite the lack of clearly defined roles and undocumented procedures, foreign teachers should somehow already know what is expected of them. Direct communication often feels unnecessary to them. The result is a reactive management style, double the work, and blank stares from the headteacher whenever clarification is needed.

A few weeks ago, I knew that report cards were due soon. From conversations with the veteran foreign teachers, I gathered that detailed comments about each student were expected. Anticipating the looming deadline, I sent a detailed, bulleted message to the administrator and headteacher asking for a clearly documented report card process for the new foreign teachers.

Within five minutes of sending the message, we were simply given an example report card from the previous year. Nothing else was shared. Many of my questions went unanswered. Minimal effort went into responding to my request. It was very much a “sink or swim” situation.

So, when it came time to write the report cards, I also put in minimal effort: ChatGPT to the rescue. I asked the AI to generate general student reviews that I could make minor tweaks to for each individual student. After about an hour of work, I had finished comments for all 16 students.

Of course, my comments did not fully meet the expectations of the headteacher. And there I was again, thinking: she didn’t know what she wanted until I gave her what she didn’t want.

Despite the imperfections in my comments, she made a few minor edits and sent the report cards out anyway. Then she told me that I should keep better notes about students before the next reporting period. She referred me back to the “example report cards from last year.” But what exactly am I supposed to be taking notes on? Once again, there were unspoken expectations that I’m sure will only become clear after I submit the next round of report cards.

Time after time, it has been demonstrated that the Korean staff cannot be bothered with questions from foreign teachers. Yet, when a foreign teacher’s work does not meet expectations, the blame suddenly falls entirely on the foreign teacher.

So what do you do in that situation?

My solution has been to give them less so that they are forced to do more. Knowing that I am only here on a one-year contract—and that I have already decided not to renew it—makes it much easier to put in minimal effort.

Through this experience, I am also learning what I don’t want from living and working in a foreign country. When I first began my TEFL journey, my goal was to experience life in a European country. Instead, I let chance make the decision for me, and I ended up here in Korea.

Although this is not the place—or the experience—that I truly wanted, at least I am learning what to exclude from my future TEFL adventures.

I suppose that when I began this adventure, I didn’t really know what I wanted. But now, after experiencing so many things that I don’t want, the things that I do want are becoming a little clearer.